Post by AVERY LAURA CAMERON on Jul 1, 2011 17:57:26 GMT -7
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i52.tinypic.com/otj5sn.jpg); width: 390px; height: 450px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 40px 0px; opacity: 0.8; border-right: #7298ac 15px solid; border-left: #7298ac 15px solid;] manic-depression, more commonly known as bipolar personality disorder is characterized by... her pen stopped, paused on the page. drastic...mood swings, periods of highs and lows, anxiety... anxiety? was that something it was characterized by or just something generally associated with it? she couldn't remember. her pen stopped again, and she angrily crossed out the word "anxiety". this wasn't working. focusing was so hard for her at the moment, with everyone buzzing around her and events from a previous night swimming in her brain. lately, everything had been so topsy turvy for her, going one way and then the next, messing up her schedule and generally keeping her on edge from the unfamiliar territory of it all. she had never, ever been like this before - her mind elsewhere, her study schedule messed up, struggling with a class. while she knew it would eventually happen to her once she reached a higher level of education, avery cameron just wasn't used to any sort of failure or mistake. she had never once missed a study date she had planned for herself, never once put down her homework to answer a text message, and she had never, ever before procrastinated her work. ever. especially when taking optional summer courses. it wasn't the cameron way to settle for anything less than efficient and perfect. she'd always heard that college was a lot different than high school, but she figured that after two years of doing just fine she'd be used to it. though things had definitely changed. she had become...distracted. she had allowed herself to let go a little bit and that wasn't okay. she wasn't allowed to become distracted. that wasn't the way she operated. it was why she had only had serious boyfriends who would leave her to her own devices and not try to distract her with sexual tension and silly attempts at wooing her. it was why she held a tight schedule and tight control on her life. it was why no one was able to shake her foundation. she didn't flirt with people (often), she didn't invite anyone in, she didn't make very many plans, she didn't even have many close friends. she had a goal in her mind - she was going to succeed. and nothing was going to stand in her way. she was avery fucking cameron. she had never, ever failed when she wanted to succeed. she had won all of her student council elections. she had become head cheerleader when she wanted it to happen. she had gotten all the guys she'd ever deemed worthy to fit into the life she had cut out so perfectly from the average american's fantasy. but things were different now. she was all sorts of distracted, and there was that damn boy who just went and defied everything she had worked so hard to achieve, the one who broke her boundaries... she needed to stop thinking about him. little doodles had already made their way into the margins of the page she was writing on, and she knew that she'd have to start the essay all over again on a fresh sheet of paper if she ever expected to get a good grade on it at all. she sighed, put down her pen, and looked around the student union. it was unnaturally empty for a place that was usually swarming with activity, though she supposed it was rather late and people were probably out partying rather than focusing on their studies like one little avery cameron. she felt rather alone, sitting there in an empty corner at a rather large table whose empty seats just emphasized her solitude. she frowned. it had never dawned on her how little time she really gave for her social life anymore. in high school, she had been surrounded by friends because there was so much to do - cheerleading, student council, dance, going to games, school dances and functions, volunteer work. but now that she actually reached the higher education she wanted, she found herself lost. there was no more busy times except for being busy with work. there were no mild parties with close, personal friends because she didn't have those. she just had him. god damn it. back to him again. she sighed again and put all of her things back in the little messenger bag she always carried with her and sat there, looking around the empty room with a pout. she would give anything, anything to be in the presence of another person. but not him - no, not him. tagged;; open outfit;; click notes;; she's taking summer courses if it confused anyone. i don't know how many colleges actually do that, but this college doesn't exist. so it does. besides, breaks never last long. |
made by hay shay @ caution!
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